Monday, September 10, 2007

The post where I use hyphens like they are going out of style.


I watched the MTV Video Music Awards opening last night just to see the trainwreck live. I do have a bone to pick with the people in blog-land commenting on Britney's lack-luster half-stoned full-of-crap performance though:


This is NOT fat

Not by any extent of the imagination. 

She is being called huge and bovine online. Well I will be damned because that makes me an elephant. Seriously I would have to starve myself for a year to look like that at all. The girl had 2 babies, and is no longer a boney ass girl but a WOMAN. Her body looks great. Now lets talk about the hair. Britney honey, we can see you poorly dyed real hair above your rats nest of extensions. Puh-leeze just get a rocking short haircut and own it. The fake hair isn't fooling anyone but you.

Sara Silverman is not funny. 

I think she bombed-sucked worse then Britney.
 
Sara Silverman is not funny, she is loud and annoying and has the worst. voice. ever. but she is not funny. I have never seen her actually be funny on stage. Ok, I lie, she was funny when she did the Celebrity Roast of Pamela Anderson, but she had tons of time to prepare funny shit about her. And, why is a semi-funny guy like Jimmy Kimmel even dating her? Maybe he is deaf. Or like Dad! says, she puts out. She dooz it. A lot. Oh, and calling someones kids the "cutest little mistakes ever" is not funny, it is rude and shows how class-less and talent-less you are. 

It was the worst awards show ever, with a ton of crap performances. For the MTV people, when I-am-so-bland-live-that-I will-get-ass-kicking-new-hair-so-people-forget-I-suck-Rhianna was the better performance of the night you have problems with your production. That was 3 hours I will NEVER get back, although it beat doing laundry. Barely. I vacuumed though.

P.S. 

Hi Paris? My 75 year old Baba (grandmother) called, she wants her hair back. You know, the old lady hair that they get done at the salon each Friday and don't wash all week? 


Uggers Hair. 
All that money and that's what they did to her head?

4 comments:

karin said...

Hello..
I agree with you..
I think Britney Spears is not fat.. but her hair could be better.. :p

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rudecactus said...

I agree with you on two out of three. Britney is not fat and Paris' hair makes her look 80. I didn't watch the show but Sarah Silverman can be very funny. Perhaps that wasn't the best venue.

Haley-O said...

Britney is SO NOT FAT. But, she shouldn't have been wearing that bikini -- not because of her weight but because it was so unnecessary and, like, gratuitous.

I disagree with you on Sarah. I thought she was funny. But, she wasn't at her best, and she should have stayed away from brit's kids....

TOTALLY agree with you re. Paris' hair. Ew!!

dog mama said...

Agree, Brit is definitely not fat. Wearing a bikini that is two sizes too small can be less flattering than other wardrobe choices one might make however. And she does need to do her roots and she should do fewer drugs before hitting the stage. As for Paris, I can't waste the energy to type about her.