Thursday, December 21, 2006

Spit or Swallow?

Spit or Swallow?

The age old question popped into my head yesterday (more about why later) while shopping with my 6 month old son. There are many reasons to ponder this question (and not just the first reason you think of). Let us now examine the list of things that can be spit or swallowed.

1. The first most debated and obvious spit or swallow contraversy.... Do you spit out or swallow the (auhhuuumm clearing my throat) male by-products of oral pleasure?

2. When going to a wine tasting, do you spit or swallow the wine?

3. You cough up a lougie in public, do you spit or swallow?

4. Chewing tobacco, do you spit or swallow the nasty ass stuff?

5. Brussel sprouts, do you spit or swallow?

6. When your son pukes it large all over your face at an expensive kids store and gets it in your mouth, do you spit or swallow?

Well, here are my answers.

1. No. (see how thats not a spit or swallow answer?)

2. Swallow dammit I probably paid for the wine tasting!

3. Spit if no one will see me, swallow if I would get caught spitting.

4. I don't chew tobacco but I think I would spit.

5. Swallow (I think I am starting to like brussel sprouts).

6. A real lady doesn't spit in public (as of yesterday) yeah, so that leaves swallow.

Probably the most disgusting moment in my short parenting career was yesterday. Little Man and I were at Princess and the Pea and he barfed on my face and got it all over my lips and in mouth. What are you supposed to do in this situation, is there advice in the parenting books on this one?